The Healing, The Restoration, The Amusement Park & The Confirmation

So, had a very powerful dream last night.   

The Healing, The Restoration, The Amusement Park, & The Confirmation

When I woke, I was crying and praying at the same time.

The setting, Jill, both boys and I were in a place that looked like Disneyland.  A lot of activity, music, and the boys were having a blast.  Tyler was about 12 years old and Jesse about 9 years old.  Tyler needed to go to the bathroom and was getting our attention for that, as we were going from one ride to then next.  Tyler was able to easily communicate with us on what he needed, so we asked on of the workers where the nearest restroom was, and we  began to walk in that direction.  On the way there, there was a sign on one of the walls that indicated that was a special speaker, evangelist in town this evening.   I mentioned to Jill that we should check it out.  She nodded yes.  We were rushing to the restroom to help Tyler, on the way there, we passed a  lady, who seemed to  have trouble walking, here legs and arms were blue, and she hunched over as we passed her.   That was odd.  In my heart, I began to pray for her.

We made it to the restroom, and we began making our way to the next ride, on the way there, this other family was walking by us, heading in the same direction, and then I noticed that the lady that was hunched over, that we had passed earlier, was with this family walking by us, heading in the same direction.  As we were waking, struck up a simple conversation with this family, then I asked, “Would it be okay we prayed for you?”  The husband was a bit shocked, and the wife was open to the idea.  They accepted our offer, so we began to pray, Jill, the boys and I reached out to hold their hands, and I began to pray that God would heal the circulation in both their physical systems, and began to declare God’s healing over them, then other people began to join us, as they saw what was going on, as tears began to stream down the faces of this couple, it did to Jill and I as well, as I looked over at Jill, we were both crying as well.   That was done, the couple hugged us, and kept thanking us, and we were on our way.  As we walked away, Jill looked at me and made a comment, almost under her breath, “YOU Have changed!”  To which I stated, “Just doing what God wants me, “US” to do.  Tears streaming down my face as we walked, and reached out to hold her hand.   Too which, she reached back, to grasp my hand.

Then it switched to a new scene.

The Service.

We were at the service with the evangelist and can remember the worship, being peaceful, and full of excitement and expectation.  Not a show, or entertainment, but a true move of our Creator.  We were all able to worship, and enter into HIS presence corporately.  Then as the service went on, the special speaker was invited to come on stage, It was a lady speaker, she has written many books, and came to share what God has laid on her heart.  Jill and I were sitting on the front row, and as this gal began to speak, she noticed us, and stopped for a second, and said, “Just a minute, I need to find out this couples names, and why they felt led to pray for people, at an amusement park.  There is an anointing that rest on their lives, that was placed there by God, and I want to hear more about them!”

Then, boom, I woke up! Crying and praying at the same time.

What are the ‘FIVE’ Love Languages?

Keep It Simple

The Five Love Languages Defined

Do you know the 5 Love Languages? Here they are:

l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The
flies were going to carry it out for you.”

2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and

5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love.

The Five Love Languages Defined

Do you know the 5 Love Languages? Here they are:

l. Words of affirmation – using words to build up the other person. “Thanks for
taking out the garbage.” Not – “It’s about time you took the garbage out. The
flies were going to carry it out for you.”

2. Gifts – a gift says, “He was thinking about me. Look what he got for me.”

3. Acts of Service – Doing something for your spouse that you know they would
like. Cooking a meal, washing dishes, vacuuming floors, are all acts of service.

4. Quality time – by which I mean, giving your spouse your undivided attention.
Taking a walk together or sitting on the couch with the TV off – talking and

5. Physical touch – holding hands, hugging, kissing, sexual intercourse, are all
expressions of love.

Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more
deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking
it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.

Out of these five, each of you has a primary love language which speaks more
deeply to you than all the others. Discovering each other’s language and speaking
it regularly is the best way to keep love alive in a marriage.

You Can Keep Love Alive

Seldom does a husband and wife have the same primary love language. We tend to speak our own language and wonder why they don’t respond. The reason is, they did not get the message, on an emotional level. You express your love by doing things for your spouse, but what they want is physical touch. Your spouse gives you a gift, but what you really want is quality time. You are both sincere, but you are not connecting. Once you discover and speak your spouse’s primary love language, I believe you will have discovered the key to a long-lasting, loving marriage. Love need not evaporate after the marriage, but in order to keep it alive, most of us will have to learn a second language. We cannot simply do what comes naturally for us. We must learn to speak their language, and that takes thought and effort. The good news is that you can do it. You can keep love alive in your marriage.

God’s Purpose For Marriage

What is the purpose of marriage? Sex? Companionship? Love? To provide a home for children? Social acceptance? Economic advantage? Security? In the Bible, God looked at Adam and said: “It is not good for man to be alone”. The word means ‘cut off, isolated’. God’s answer? “I will make him a helper suitable for him.” God created Eve and said: “the two shall become one flesh.” It is interesting that the Hebrew word for “one” is the same word that is used of God. “ Hear O Israel: the Lord our God is one…” It means – composite unity. Father, Son, and Spirit – God is one. Each carrying out a different role, but one. So in marriage, the two are one. Intimacy, unity, oneness is at the heart of God’s purpose for marriage.

A time to clean up messes

Last week, I heard the Lord give me advance warning that, THIS week, He would be pouring out the anointing to clean up messes.

As soon as I heard this, I felt the Lord brooding over it with a deep compulsion and travail.

I wondered why He was telling me this in advance, and He spoke to my heart that:

1) He was giving us time to pray and prepare; and

2) We would need to pray our way through this, because some of the messes we need to clean up have been intimidating us for so long.

I sent this info out by email in a prophetic bulletin (sign up for free email updates here if you haven’t already done so), letting you know that I plan to fast and pray over this word–as well as to sow a seed, which I did. You may want to join me in these things if you feel led to do so.

(Even fasting and praying one meal a day makes a big difference as long as your heart is right before God. And, sowing a seed–and naming your seed when you sow it–tells the Lord you believe/receive the word, PLUS it gets you “skin in the game” in the word–investing you fully in it, which is helpful and necessary if you want to see progress and change. Sowing a seed is also a way to thank Him in advance for keeping His Word to help you in this area. 

Today, I asked the Lord to tell me more about this anointing to clean up messes, and here is what He said:

“I am giving you the anointing to clean up messes. The anointing came on you a few days ago, and it will continue.

Clean up messes while the anointing is fresh. Do it now. My anointing in this area is not to do things for you; it is to help you do things you have been needing to do for a long time.

The spirit of intimidation has been working against you, telling you that things are too hard. But, I say to you today that it is not too hard. Really, the enemy’s attack of intimidation should be a sign to you that My help and My grace are sufficient for you; for the enemy wants to keep you from My grace and that is why he intimidates you.

But My help is here for you to clean up messes.

I will work with you and through you to do this. And although the anointing will continue after this week, I will tell you that THIS WEEK is a kairos time to clean up the messes that have been piling up, intimidating you, and frightening you.

Do not be afraid. Fear is not from Me. I am with you always, to keep you and to comfort you.

Look all around you and see; your future is gathering to you.

Your destiny is happening right now. It is no longer in the distant future; it is in the now. But how can you move forward with the messes of the past clinging to you?

Behold, I make all things new.

In order for Me to make all things new, you must cooperate with Me. You must allow the baggage of the past to literally be placed in the trash can. 

This is why I need you to declutter right now. The things of the past are old and tired. To move forward, even the things you thought you would fix or repair have to go. Even the things you have kept because of their symbolism, in some cases, will need to go.

It’s not that fixing and repairing isn’t good. It’s not that good and holy symbolism isn’t nice. But, My child, I need you to be agile. I need you to be quick and streamlined and focused. All the mess around you, in whatever area, gets in your way and bogs you down.

I have been telling you that I am doing a quick work, and I am. That’s why the mess must go.

The work that I am doing will make your head spin. The speed of the work will be intense. You will need an uncluttered mind (filled only with My Word, and not with strife or stress), an uncluttered home, and an uncluttered soul and spirit (focused only on Me) in order to advance with Me.

You have no idea how important this is to your quality of life.

The stress you have been under affects everything. Decluttering and cleaning up messes this week will make way for My Spirit to move in your heart, mind, spirit, and life in ways you have only been dreaming of–AND MORE.

This week is a kairos, opportune time.

I will always help you with whatever you need to do, but THIS WEEK is the week I have chosen for you to get these hindrances and obstacles out of your life. Notice that I said “for YOU to get” … meaning, you must do this yourself, with My help of course. This is going to take gumption on your part, but if you will simply surrender to My anointing, My Spirit will help you. He is waiting for you right now, I say; even now.

Do everything you can this week to clean up messes. Do not hold on to things.

I know you have been holding on to some things for sentimental reasons, but again I say: where you are going, there is no time for junk. Keep the things I tell you to keep, and throw away everything else. Do the things I tell you to do, and don’t do anything else. Walk the way I ask you to walk, and don’t go anywhere else.

What you do this week could change your life.

However, it’s up to you. Will you cooperate with My Spirit? Will you allow Me to help you? Will you trust Me to give you grace to overcome the things that have been intimidating you?

It’s up to you; but I promise you that I will be with you if you will but go. Go and do. Go and handle those things I have asked you to handle. Throw dynamite in your log-jam; go all-in and all-out. Clean up the messes that I am asking you to clean, and you’ll be glad you did.

Love, Papa.”

Deep breath.

Does this word about the anointing to clean up messes speak to your heart? If so, pray this with me:

“Father God, in Jesus’ name, I choose to surrender to Your help and Your Spirit and Your Word. Please help me to clean up messes this week; I choose to cooperate with Your anointing. Let it be to me, on earth and in my life, just as it is in Heaven. Let my life resemble Heaven more every moment this week, and give me grace to declutter, to let go, and to clean up everything you have asked me to clean up. Thank You, Abba Father. In Jesus’ name, amen.”

Healing and being Restored

Things have been reset in my heart and mind. Walking down the path that I’m called too.

The calling is that of making a positive difference in this world, and helping people walk out of the “HELL” they may find themselves in, for what ever reason, what ever choice that was made. A time of healing and restoration is for everyone. To allow our Creator to make Beauty from the Ashes that may have found itself on your life.

There have been people praying for me, voices that have been speaking life over me for the past year, and was not hearing with my heart, as it was overshadowed in the dark. THAT is no longer the case. There is a movie scene that perfectly depicts how this feels to me in my heart.

A gal, that I know, who is very dear to my heart, her and her family, lived in Hawaii for a number of years spoke life over me for well over a year, and now my heart hears and sees. Here is a scene from Moana that means the world to me, and can actually hear, her singing with the movie, as she sat next to me, as tears stream down our faces as we watch what was going on in the movie. A moving and very powerful scene.

Hatred being softened back to LOVE! Hardness changing to good and beauty. Yes, this is a beautiful scene and there is one gal that, it is my hope, that one day, will be able to thank her in person. Thank you for helping restore the heart of Alexander H. Atkinson, Jr. Without your prayers, this would not have happened, and the prayers of your parents and sister, and my family as well. Embarking back on the trail that was begun many years ago.

Winds of Change

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Things are about to shift once again. Can sense the winds of change and things are about to become very familiar and exciting once again.

Keep It Simple

Can sense a new door opening, have the home office set up and and ready to go. The phone is primed, I’m ready, and very excited!

Some change can be very difficult. Some new choices have had to be made, and walking in love, peace and faith once again. I say, “once again”, because some bad, personal choices were made, and ended up in a dark night of the soul time. That created alot of bad things, and hurt feelings.

My last blog addresses a part of the dark night of my soul.

This new change is going to be bring increase on many different levels. Alot of big changes. Alot of debt being cancelled out. Alot of exciting things on the horizon and a weight is being lifted off my shoulders and for that am very excited.

Only wish, was able to share it with…

Keep it Simple

More to come as things begin to unfold. 🙂

My Dark Night of the Soul – A Journey that has been extremely difficult…

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest Souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. – Khalil Gibran

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At some point, most of us go through a phenomenon known as the Dark Night of the Soul.

Although we try to run from it, it is still there. Although we try to cover it up and smother it, it is still there. Although we try to put on a happy, smiley face and pretend it away, it’s still there.

While some of us seek reprieve in religious thought, others of us seek respite in spiritual philosophy or psychology, and still, others seek relief through addiction and mind-numbing external pursuits.

The truth is that although we are all born with Souls, not all of us know how to fully embody and integrate them into our human experience. The truth is that in our modern world, we live ego-centrically rather than Soul-centrically.

Mystics, saints, and shamans throughout history have all referred to this ego-centric human struggle in different ways. But the one thing they all had in common was their tendency to point to the need for us to consciously grow into our Divine potential.

One of these people was Saint John of the Cross, a Spanish monk who coined the term “Dark Night of the Soul” (“Noche Oscura” the name of one of his poems) based on his own mystical experience.

These days, the concept of the Dark Night of the Soul has come to be used in a much broader way. What was once a term reserved for people actively going through a Spiritual Journey, has now come to easily label anything ranging from a few bad days and a period of depression to the death of a loved one.

But what really is the Dark Night of the Soul?

First, we’ll start with a basic definition:

What is the Dark Night of the Soul?

Keep It Simple

The Dark Night of the Soul is a period of utter spiritual desolation, disconnection, and emptiness in which one feels totally separated from the Divine. Those who experience the Dark Night feel completely lost, hopeless, and consumed with melancholy. The Dark Night of the Soul can be likened to severe spiritual depression (it’s a type of spiritual emergency.)

The concept of having a Dark Night of the Soul has existed for a long time, and spans back to the 16th century when poet and Catholic mystic Saint John of the Cross wrote a poem entitled, “La noche oscura del alma (The Dark Night of the Soul).”

Wrote Saint John:

If a man wishes to be sure of the road he’s traveling on, then he must close his eyes and travel in the dark.

Traditionally, the Dark Night of the Soul refers to the experience of losing touch with God/Creator and being plunged into the abyss of godless emptiness. The modern understanding of having a Dark Night of the Soul, however, is not exclusively a religious one, but can often mean losing all meaning in life, feeling out-of-touch with the Divine, feeling betrayed or forsaken by Life, and having no solid or stable ground to stand on.

Some of the heaviest questions we ask during this period include for example, “Why am I alive?” “Why do good people suffer?” “What is truth?” “Is there a god or afterlife?” and “What is the point of living?”

Dark Night and Depression – Is it the Same Thing?

The Dark Night of the Soul is not the same as depression.

Although depression shares many of its characteristics with the experience of having a Dark Night of the Soul, it can often be treated and sometimes cured with medications, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), mindfulness practices, lifestyle changes, and so forth.

Furthermore, depression often has its roots in biological chemical imbalances and/or unhealthy thought patterns, and often comes as a result of personal loss, mental illness, physical illness, abuse, genetics, and so on.

On the other hand, having a Dark Night of the Soul is a much different experience because it is primarily a spiritual and existential form of crises that can’t be treated or cured with therapy or psychiatry. Therefore, those of us going through the Dark Night often feel an increasing sense of hopelessness, unease, and despair as we discover that no one can save us but ourselves. Inevitably, this makes us feel even more alone, frustrated and confused about the world and about ourselves.

I am intensely aware of what it is like to experience complete psychological and spiritual desolation and although the feeling seems endless, there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you just know where to look.

Finally, walking, in the LIGHT once again. Once the issue was identified, was able to reconcile that with my CREATOR, and literally walk out of the darkness, into the light.

The only challenge now, is allowing God to heal the areas of my heart that caused hurt and pain in others that I LOVE! To walk out of darkness and shame and allow the healing to take place. In the still of the night. Allowing healing to have it’s way.

The Strongest Women I know


They are the strongest people on this planet. Some moms, more so than others. Had the opportunity to meet this one mom, she was an amazing person. Full of LOVE, Compassion and the heart of a warrior! She has two children. One special needs, and both of them are Type 1 Diabetic! What she had to learn, in a short amount of time. From living a normal life, to having news of the situation from the Doctors. How the paradigm shift, of that moment, changed everything. The stress, the questions, the wondering, and then the chasing after God for answers.

She began her journey of learning about Autism, what is it? How did this happen, what can be done to help bring healing. And then the diagnosis that he also has Type 1 Diabetes, and then the youngest, also is diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, as the youngest went into diabetic coma. (Scary). Again, mom went through all this, chasing after her God, searching for answers. Again, learning all about Type 1 Diabetes, and how this will change everything, food, blood checks, insulin.

Yes, she is an amazing Mother. The amount of things that she had to learn and the paradigm shift she experienced, leaves me wondering, “Wow! She is an amazing women!” Simply put and that is just the truth. She would never say that, other than, she is being a mom!

She has become a person that I completely admire, and have learned so much from her. And continue to learn so much from her, just her, being her.

Never had the chance to thank her, for the great many things she has taught me. Maybe one day that may happen. 🙂

Went down the WRONG TRAIL!

This will be a short story of my journey, thus far.

Yes, a choice was made, and it took me down the WRONG TRAIL!

It was a trail of binge drinking, hurting peoples hearts, people that you truly care for, but in the state of binge drinking, not aware that you are causing damage.

A journey that wish never happened, but it did. Hurt the one I loved, and she had no idea why this was happening.

After soul searching, realized that blame was placed on her for something she did not do. It was completely my fault for NOT communicating with her my concerns. That resulted in a not so good outcome. Again, she is not at fault, yet, in my heart, blamed her. And that, was wrong! So very wrong! If only we could go back in time and make some different choices. THAT is neither here nor there anymore. I hurt her beyond forgiveness. She has moved on, and I will remain faithful to her. No matter what, even if it means being alone for the rest of my life. This is where my heart is now. As our Creator has shown me where the fault is, and how to fix it.

Yes, I went down the wrong trail and for that, brought shame on me and hurt to the ones that really love. She is the most loving person that I have ever met, on so many levels!

It all started with Lack of Communication


keep It

It was not her fault.

It was the fault of my own doing.

We took a break from life, and I should have

Communicated to you, my concern on the length

Of time.  But, that did not happen. 

Should have talked to you, but that did not happen.

My concern was for that of my job, had a concern,

But did not share that.  Was I excited, or trying to

Show off?  This is not entirely certain.

If we could go back in time, knowing what is known now,

Would have made the choice to talk to you and share

The concern.

Instead,  we went on a wedding, honeymoon, vacation

For 14 days.  My cell phone was put in the hotel safe,

And felt I should have said something about that,  but did not.

The pattern was, communication from my heart, should have happened.

As a result, when we got back, my job was taken away from me.

They said it was due to downsizing, but in my heart, felt it

Was because of my duration away.

As a result of that action from the company I was at, my  heart

Became resentful and actually blamed my new wife for what had

Happened, and that was wrong, incorrect and way off base!!

The choices made, after that, blamed you for what had happened,

And chose to drink, full of shame, resentment and sadness, and you

Did absolutely nothing wrong.  Feel so bad for the choice I made

To drink.  It took some serious soul searching to figure out what had

Happened, and why.  If there was a way to turn back time, would love

To do that, and actually communicate with you before the trip to the

Island.  Now, the creation of that choice, become horrible and

Ended up in a tail spin, that could not seem to recover from.  Until now.

I am not a narcissist, became that from drinking, being resentful and

Not know what was being said while in a drinking state.

Now, my heart is on the mend, from the nasty choice that was made, and

Can only hope and pray that your heart can completely heal.

Keep It Simple

To say, “I’m sorry!”  Just is not enough.

Wish a different path was taken in the choice for our trip.  Wish that

Things could be different now.

Wish we were still together doing this right, instead of the wrong

Way that I chose to go down.

Wish the opportunity was there to apologize and heal.

No, “I’m sorry” just doesn’t work.  Wish there was a way to start this

Over, the right way.

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