Sometimes, when you read about what introversion means, you feel like someone is spying on your life. Yes, you do love being alone. You hate making shallow small talk. And spending too much time around other people leaves you feeling drained, irritable, and sometimes even physically unwell.

Yet other aspects of introversion don’t resonate with you at all. You have plenty of friends. You enjoy meeting new people. And even though you prefer meaningful conversation, you’re actually pretty good at making light chitchat.

You’re starting to wonder if you’re really an introvert.

What Is an ‘Extroverted’ Introvert?

Enter the “extroverted” introvert.

The extroverted introvert is known by many names. Some call it an “outgoing introvert” or “social” introvert. Others argue that this is ambiversion.

So what does “extroverted introvert” really mean?

The thing to understand about introversion and extroversion is they are not all-or-nothing traits. Think of these two temperaments as being on a spectrum. Some people fall closer to the extreme ends, making them either very introverted or very extroverted. Most people are closer to the middle, which gives them qualities of both introversion and extroversion.

If you think of yourself as an extroverted introvert, it probably means you’re an introvert at heart — but you may be more outgoing than other introverts because your personality is more middle-of-the-spectrum.

Signs You’re an ‘Extroverted Introvert’

Are you an extroverted introvert? If so, you’ll recognize yourself in these 10 signs.

1. Your energy level is closely tied to your environment.

You’re sensitive to your surroundings. It matters how your environment looks, what kind of music is playing, how many people are present, and the noise level. The ambiance of a place can either energize or drain you, depending on if it fits your preferences. A loud rock concert in a crowded stadium might be overwhelming — but an up-close-and-personal acoustic set at your favorite club is soothing.

2. You find people to be both intriguing and exhausting.

People watching? Yes. Meeting new people and hearing their life stories? Fascinating. Spending almost every night hanging out with friends? Not a chance. Outgoing introverts enjoy meeting new people but can only endure so much socializing. After a busy weekend or a long day at work, you may feel the need to disappear and recharge by being alone or with just one other person.

3. Certain people and interactions drain you while others recharge you.

You have a few friends who you could hang out with for practically forever. It seems like you never run out of things to talk about. Being with them is easy. You actually feel better after spending time with them, not drained — and you act pretty outgoing around them. Other people tire or bore you and you need to get away. Being alone is better than settling for second-rate company.

4. You can be charming but also deeply introspective and reflective.

You make small talk when it’s expected of you because you know it can lead to deeper, more authentic conversation. People feel comfortable around you, and you easily get others talking and opening up about themselves. When you’re out with friends, you make sure everyone’s having a good time. However, most people don’t realize how “in your head” you really are. Although you appear easy-going, your mind is always running.

5. When you feel rested and recharged, you reach out to others.

Often, you’re the one who organizes social events for others. Playing the host is ideal for the extroverted introvert — it allows you to spend time with people on your own terms. But when you run out of energy, you’re out, and like a true introvert, all you want is a little hibernation at home.

6. You need time to warm up in social situations.

Your first impression belies your real personality. At first, you come across as quiet and reserved. But once you feel comfortable, you have no trouble chatting. You won’t spill your life story or divulge your insecurities to someone you’ve just met, but you will reveal intimate details once trust is built up. The better someone gets to know you, the more “extroverted” you seem.

7. It actually takes less energy to say what’s on your mind than to make small talk.

True extroverts rarely struggle with what to say. It’s easy from them to make chitchat — and talk with ease about virtually any topic. But not so for most introverts. Many introverts find it difficult to force small talk. They’d rather talk about big ideas or connect in an honest, authentic way. This is especially true of extroverted introverts. It’s far easier for them to say what’s on their mind than to fake a rousing discussion about the weather.

8. You’re selectively social.

Although you gain a lot of satisfaction from your relationships, unlike a true extrovert, you don’t have the energy to maintain a large social network. Plus, you don’t click with just anybody. So you make your limited “people” energy count by investing it into just a few close relationships.

9. You have no interest in trying to prove yourself in a crowd of strangers.

At networking events or parties, you’re not someone who “works the room.” Nor do you feel the need to draw a lot of attention to yourself in social situations. Yes, you see the value in making connections with others, and you especially love those rare moments when you meet a like-minded soul. But you’ll probably never be the most popular person in the room — and you’re okay with that.

10. You’re often confused for an extrovert.

Your friends and family don’t buy that you’re an introvert because you’re just so social. In fact, it may have taken you a while to realize that you’re an introvert — because you play the extrovert so well. Now you find yourself constantly having to explain your introversion and how you get your energy. Unfortunately, most people don’t get it.

Keep in mind that there’s no wrong way to do introversion — and we all act introverted at times and extroverted at others. You can be outgoing and still be an introvert. It’s all about understanding your needs and honoring your own style, even if that means being the life of the party one night and then binge watching Netflix alone the next.

Every introvert has that moment when they realize they don’t quite fit in within the space they occupy. Perhaps it’s a teacher making a concerned comment about how they spend too much time alone on the playground or a parent worrying that they don’t enjoy socializing as much as their siblings. At that moment, we introverts go from blissfully enjoying our inner worlds to becoming acutely aware that we’re different — and that’s usually not a good thing.

Personally, I’ve often felt like I don’t fit in at school, work, and even around friends and family. Social situations are exhausting, and the older I get, the less energy I have to pretend otherwise. I can put on the extrovert mask as easily as any other introvert, but wearing the mask is much more draining than just being myself. For an introvert, there is no greater feeling than being accepted for who we are.

However, for many of us, those moments of acceptance seem few and far between. So we keep wearing the mask and pretending it’s not so bad. Meanwhile, we’re trying to operate at 100 percent when our batteries are struggling to stay above 10 percent.

The world is slowly beginning to understand and accept introversion, but we’re not fully there yet. If you feel like you don’t fit in and are constantly drained from trying, know that you aren’t alone. Here are some words of encouragement for introverts who are searching for somewhere to belong.

No, there’s nothing wrong with you.

The world continually reminds introverts about all the things that are wrong with them. We need to socialize and speak up more in meetings. We should “act like an extrovert” if we want to be successful. Society makes us feel like our personality is a disease in need of a cure.

I spent most of my teenage years and early 20s searching for what was wrong with me. In college, I was sure that my struggle to keep up with my extroverted friends who wanted to party five nights in a row meant that I had a problem. Discovering that I’m an introvert — and that it’s a personality preference, not a mental illness — changed everything.

Despite being aware of my introversion, I still doubt myself. I beat myself up for not speaking up enough in a meeting at work. The voice in my head will pop up to say, “See? I told you — you’re not good enough.”

However, when we allow ourselves to live in that headspace, we limit ourselves from living to our full potential. When I silence the negative voices and focus on my strengths, I thrive. I do this by giving myself positive pep talks before a big meeting or event that will push me out of my comfort zone. I also take time to slip away and be alone when I start to feel overwhelmed.

If the negative voices appear, I keep them at bay by focusing on deep breathing or other mindfulness practices. I understand how easy it is to slip into negative self-talk as an introvert, but it’s important to recognize your value.

You are an introvert, and that is okay. Go out and conquer the world, my quiet friends. You’ve got this.

Your tribe exists. You just have to find them.

As a young introvert, I remember thinking that no one understood me. I had good friends and a supportive family. But these people didn’t really “get” me. They had an idea of who I was based on the role I played. This character was largely based on who I thought people wanted me to be.

When I discovered I am an introvert, I sought to connect with like-minded introverts in a space where I knew I’d be most likely find them — the internet. It’s not rare nowadays for introverts (and extroverts, too) to have “internet friends.” Through social media, I’ve connected with dozens of individuals who share similar experiences and whose dreams and desires run parallel with my own. I’ve connected with writers, business owners, artists, and counselors, all who share my quiet temperament. This tribe of people has encouraged me during the challenging times and celebrated with me during the wonderful times.

The best part is that I know I don’t have to pretend around them. I’m accepted the way I am.

If you’re still looking for your tribe, know that they are out there. Maybe you will find your people in an unconventional way, like through a Facebook group or on Twitter. Perhaps they are at a book club or a church group. You’ll never know where your tribe lives until you start looking for them.

How do you know when you’ve found your tribe? Much like with romantic relationships, it’s often a “when you know, you know” type of feeling. Ultimately, you feel free to be yourself and you feel heard and accepted for who you are. While your quiet personality may be viewed as a flaw by many others, your tribe embraces it as a wonderful part of what makes you who you are.

Don’t be discouraged if you try out a few groups that aren’t a good fit. Finding your tribe is a lot like dating or choosing a major in college. Don’t settle for just “okay” when something better is out there.

Sometimes, we belong right where we are.

Buddha said, “What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: our life is the creation of our mind.”

External factors, such as relationships and work satisfaction, play an essential role in our happiness. Every person on earth (yes, even introverts) needs a sense of belonging to be satisfied in life.

However, there is a reason so many self-help gurus preach that “happiness comes from within.” Our internal beliefs play a huge role in how we feel about ourselves and our lives.

As introverts, we spend a lot of time in our inner worlds. Because of this, many of us are incredibly self-aware. We may say little, but our imagination know no bounds. However, amid the beauty of our inner worlds exist limiting beliefs that can hold us back.

Each time we tell ourselves who we can’t be or what we can’t do, we are shaping our reality. A true sense of belonging doesn’t merely come from being accepted by others, but by accepting ourselves as we are.

If you imagine your best self in 10, 20, or 30 years in the future, who is that person? What does he or she look, act, and feel like? Use this vision to set your present beliefs about yourself. Deep inside, you know what you are capable of achieving. You just have to start believing it.

My hope for you and for every other introvert — including myself — in this new year is that you find your sense of belonging, whether that means finding your tribe or finding peace within yourself.

Most important, I hope that you know that right now in this moment and in every moment, even when it doesn’t feel like it, you belong.

Many people recently find themselves having difficulty being motivated to keep moving forward with excitement and a positive outlook. We live in a time filled with stress and anxiety due to the uncertainty of the recent Covid-19 calamity that has besieged the entire world.

These are unprecedented difficult times filled with financial struggles, health challenges, personal isolation, social disconnection, and fear. We are mostly in survival mode. The struggles personally and professionally have made our lives challenging, making it easy to fall into the trap of developing a negative mindset.

“Only a positive mindset can lead us to a satisfactory life despite the challenges ahead.”

The truth is, there are many valid reasons to feel negative about the outlook of the near future, however a negative mindset can do nothing but cause more despair.

Importance of a Positive Mindset

A positive mindset is an attitude someone has who “expects” good and desired results. The power of positivity is immense, and it can help you convert that energy into reality. By expectation, I don’t mean it to be a sense of entitlement.

“A positive mindset is rooted in a sense of gratitude, and that helps us tap into the reality of abundance.”

In the world of abundance, you can only expect good outcomes, because in that reality there is always more than enough.

That being said, I want to acknowledge that when something bad hits you, you get bombarded with negative thoughts. These negative thoughts cast even more negativity in an already devastating situation. We have all been hit with a bad deal right now, and the feelings of fear, desperation, grief, sadness are all very real, but it comes down to how long we stay in those feelings and stress about things we can’t control.

Having a positive mindset can help you avoid stress. Even out of the most challenging and devastating situations we can find a silver lining.

“Every challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow if we choose to accept reality as is and make the best of it.”

With a positive mindset you can avoid many physical and mental diseases as well. If you don’t give weight to negative thoughts, you won’t cause your body discomfort from stress, anxiety, worry, and frustration.

A stress-free mind leads to a stronger immune system, and there is nothing more important during a pandemic like Covid-19.

Half of life’s battles can be won if you practice being confident in your abilities. A positive mindset cultivates confidence in your personality, allowing you to perform at your best because of a boosted self-esteem. You can make the right decisions at the right time with confidence.

A positive mindset doesn’t just benefit your professional life, it is also essential for a successful and lovable personal life. Since positivity is rooted in gratitude, you feel thankful for many blessings in your life, especially the people who add happiness to your life. By expressing gratitude and appreciation, the bonds become stronger, giving you access to a satisfying personal life.

How to Build a Positive Mindset

Having a positive mindset when everything is going well is easy to practice. It becomes almost impossible to think positively in difficult times.

“If you want to have a positive mindset in difficult times, the key is to start behaving positively right now.”

Entering into a day with something positive is crucial. Start your day with expressions of gratitude. Everyday kick off your day by being thankful for something you already have. It could be as simple as waking up and making a mindful statement that you are grateful to be awake. It could follow with being grateful for your family, your home, your health, your life.

Starting your day with all the Covid-19 bad news or having a call with a negative person in the morning can spoil your entire day. Try to listen to or interact with something positive when you wake up. Go for a walk and have interaction with the most positive entity of the universe: the beauty of nature.

“Starting the day on a positive note often proves enough to have the entire day filled with positivity.”

Another step towards crafting a “positive you” is to start any project or task with the goal of learning from it. Keep in mind, whether you complete your goal, and accomplish it or not, the journey will definitely add knowledge and experience in your life. If you start a task or goal with the intention to learn from it, you will never be disappointed. That is how you develop wisdom.

Another recommended way to attain a positive mindset is to identify the negativities in your life and remove them like a bad cancer. The more you ruminate negative thoughts the more you feed them.

When you find yourself being overtaken by negative thoughts, stop doing what you are doing and write them down. This way you will slow down the momentum of that negative thought in the first place.

Secondly, read what you have written down and evaluate if it is indeed factual. More than half of your negative thoughts will be dismissed if you simply follow this step, because you’ll discover that more than half of them are fictitious, having no connection to facts or reality.

Most of the time, negativity comes from bad experiences in the past or the haunting fears of the future. If you learn to live in the present moment, negativity will fade out of your mind.

“When you live in the present you are more focused, and less likely to be distracted by what ifs, and this can further induce a positive mindset.”

You can also keep a journal of the blessings in your life. You’ll discover soon enough that they are countless. All you need to do is to take account of them and feel immediate gratitude. Having an ongoing list of blessings and seeing them grow every day will build your positivity muscle.

“Cultivating an attitude of gratitude helps to maintain desired positivity in life.”

Memories of unfavorable experiences, defensive nature towards calamities, negative people you may be holding on to, can be a cause of constant negativity in your life. You have to intentionally create positive energy around you.

Everything we experience in life is a result of our intentions, aware of them consciously or not. If you want to experience positivity during difficult times, you have to intentionally do the work to practice gratitude and invite positive people into your life.

There is no magic pill, elixir, or short cut towards having a positively charged life, except for one, and that is to practice unlimited gratitude

This happens. In many relationships. Can be boy friend, girlfriend. Can be a lifelong friend. Can be your wife, or your husband. Can be your Soulmate. Yes, Misunderstandings happen. It all starts in communication breakdowns.

Synonyms & Antonyms of misunderstood

to fail to understand the true or actual meaning of

• you misunderstood that poem because you took everything so literally

Synonyms for misunderstood

• misapprehended, 
• misconstrued, 
• misinterpreted, 
• misknew, 
• misperceived, 
• misread, 
• missed, 
• mistook

Words Related to misunderstood

• misconceived, 
• misdeemed, 
• misjudged
• misheard

If good communication does not take place in your relationship, you stand the very real chance of things breaking down. The synonym and Words Related, tends to happen, though you may not have wanted that to happen, it does.

I lost my, most recent relationship with my, Now, Ex-wife, simply because I did not communicate with her, concerns that were being bounced around my head. Instead of getting it out, tried to keep it in, and the inevitable happened. Lost my job. Instead of talking, again, breakdown in communication, harbored angst towards her instead. And to make matters even worse, I drank, behind closed doors, and then the blame came out! It was ugly, and it was awful! My marriage fell apart because Alex didn’t take responsibility for what he was feeling, and instead, tried to get through it.

IF, there was a way I could go back in time, that would certainly happen. It would of sounded something like this.

There are real concerns in my mind for the duration of our trip to Kauai, for you see, the company that I worked for, was small to medium in size, and my position was that of the sales person. Responsible for booking trips on our private jets. Was on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. However, did not look at this as work, as Aviation has always been a passion. Having said that, we chose to go to Hawaii for 14 days, and the concern came up that my job may be at stake. Our company just went through some major changes, and alot of adjustments were happening. It took two people to do my job in my absence. Now, looking back, should have asked her if we could take a 7 day vacation, instead of 14 days. But, not sure, had the gut feeling about my job, but, had not had a vacation in 9 years, and this was scary exciting. Well, with me agreeing, she took my work cell phone and locked it in the hotel safe. (again, not the best idea at the time). Having said all that, the communication even started just before the trip. In booking the hotel room. We needed a studio, with two rooms, as if I snored, then she can move to the next room and get sleep. Bad on my part for not confirming with her before I hit the Enter and confirm on the keyboard to the Resort. Boy, off to a rough start. IT all could have been different, if only we conversed together, and shared my heart, concerns and done it correctly. Instead, miscommunication happened. We got back from our Honeymoon, and 2 weeks later, the company that was working for, had gone through some structural changes, and I got laid off. As a result, in my heart, blamed her, when actually, it was all my fault in the beginning of this part of our journey. If there was a way to go back in time and do this correctly, of have a very real chance of saying that, “I Am Sorry.” Now that the problem in my heart has been identified, would like to simply, “Talk”. Note, on a different note, looking to get back into Aviation. There will be more that will come to the surface, as my journals come to light.

Not only does our Creator want us to Survive, but He Wants Us to THRIVE!

I know this is all quite difficult, but please, try not to worry! But rather, keep you eyes, on the Creator of the Author and Finisher of our Faith.