“The Day I Flew Backwards”

Flying Backwards: A Lesson I’ll Never Forget

There are moments in aviation that burn themselves into your memory so deeply that you can replay them frame by frame for the rest of your life. One of those moments happened during my flight training in a little Cessna 150 — a tiny two-seater that taught me some of the biggest lessons I’ve ever learned in the air.

It was a beautiful, crystal-clear day. The kind of day pilots dream about. Blue skies, endless visibility, sunshine pouring across the wings. But up high, the winds were a different story. We climbed to 5,000 feet, and the west winds were howling at over 45 miles per hour. Even in that small airplane, you could feel the sky moving around us. It was bumpy, lively — the kind of air that demands your full attention.

That day’s lesson was slow flight training.

We reduced power and carefully slowed the airplane down, holding altitude, keeping the wings level, feeling every tiny control input. I dropped the flaps to 40 degrees and brought the aircraft down toward landing speed. The Cessna felt soft and mushy on the controls, hanging on the edge of flight, exactly where it was supposed to be for the exercise.

Then I looked down.

The ground wasn’t moving the way it should have been.

Instead of drifting forward beneath us, the earth was sliding the wrong direction. Slowly at first, then unmistakably clear — we were floating backwards. The headwind was stronger than our forward airspeed. We were still flying perfectly, wings level, nose pointed ahead… but relative to the ground, we were going in reverse.

We were flying backwards.

Just me and my instructor, suspended in the sky, riding a river of wind. It felt surreal. The airplane was doing everything it was designed to do, and the atmosphere was simply stronger that day. It was one of those rare moments where aviation stops being technical and becomes pure wonder. You don’t just learn — you feel what flight really is.

We laughed about it over the intercom, watching the landscape slide behind us. It was training, yes. But it was also magic. A reminder that the sky always has something new to teach you, no matter how small the airplane or how early you are in your journey.

That flight stayed with me. Not because of the maneuver itself, but because of the perspective it gave me. Aviation has a way of humbling you and thrilling you at the same time. It reminds you that you’re a guest in an invisible ocean of moving air — and sometimes, if you’re lucky, it lets you fly backwards just to prove a point.

A memory I’ll never forget.

What Is Love?

A simple question that carries a lifetime of answers


Notes from Alex

I’m sitting here today, just letting my thoughts wander, and one question keeps circling back around in my mind: What is love?

It’s a question people have been asking for centuries. Songs try to explain it. Poets write about it. Movies chase it. Books fill entire shelves trying to define it. And after all this time, we’re still sitting here asking the same thing: What is love, really?

We all know it’s more than empathy. It’s more than just a feeling that shows up one day and disappears the next. It’s bigger than a song, deeper than a movie plot, and stronger than words on a page. Love feels like a kind of power — something every one of us is searching for in one way or another. And if we’re honest, sometimes when we actually come face to face with real love, it scares us a little. True love asks us to be open. To be vulnerable. To give parts of ourselves without knowing what we’ll get back.

The writer of Corinthians tried to describe love long ago. Scripture says love is patient and kind. It doesn’t envy or boast. It isn’t proud. It keeps no record of wrongs. It protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Those words have been around for generations, yet here we are, still trying to live them out and still trying to understand how something so clearly written can feel so hard to practice.

Maybe that’s because love isn’t something we solve once and move on from. Maybe love is something we learn over and over again. It shows up in quiet moments — in forgiveness when it would be easier to stay mad, in staying when walking away would hurt less, in choosing compassion when frustration feels justified. It’s not always loud or dramatic. Most of the time, it’s found in the small, everyday decisions we make.

So what is love?

Maybe it’s the choice to care when caring feels risky. The courage to open your heart again after it’s been bruised. The willingness to see people for who they are and still meet them with grace. Love isn’t just something we feel — it’s something we practice daily.

And maybe the reason we keep searching for the definition is because the search itself keeps us grounded. It reminds us what matters most: connection, kindness, forgiveness, and hope. It reminds us we were built for something deeper than just getting by.

The question may never have a simple answer. But maybe that’s okay.

Because every time we ask what is love?, we get another chance to live a little closer to it.

A Season That Felt Heavy

A freewrite on heaviness, holidays, and the quiet search for light

There are some days when I just don’t feel inspired to write.
Or create.
Or even slow my thoughts down enough to make sense of them.

Some days, my mind feels like it’s moving in five directions at once, and trying to gather those thoughts into something meaningful feels almost impossible. Today is one of those days. So this is a freewrite—just me jotting down what comes to mind, unfiltered and honest.

This past Christmas, I noticed something that sat heavy with me. Here in the little town of Metlakatla, Alaska, there was a feeling in the air that I couldn’t quite shake. A heaviness. Almost like a dark shadow lingering just beneath the surface. At first, I wondered if it was just me—my own weariness, my own perspective. But after talking with several people, they confirmed what I was seeing and feeling.

The heaviness was real.

Holiday seasons can be strange that way. Some years, they come easily—filled with laughter, warmth, and joy. Other years, they press in hard, stirring up grief, loneliness, and old wounds. This last one was oddly tough. Harder than expected. And it saddened my heart to see that weight reflected in the eyes of my family, my friends, and my people.

I wish there were an easy way to bring back the joy of the holiday spirit once again. To remind one another that light still exists, even when it feels dim. That hope is not gone, even when it feels distant.

Maybe part of the answer is simply noticing. Acknowledging the heaviness instead of pretending it isn’t there. Sitting with one another. Listening. Praying. Holding space. And choosing—again and again—to believe that darkness does not get the final word.

Scripture reminds us of this truth:

“The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.”

Isaiah 9:2

Light still dawns. Even here. Even now.
And I’m holding on to that hope.

— Alex

Small-Town Hours

“Small-town living teaches you many things… like checking store hours before you get hungry. Dadgum.”

Living in a small town does take some getting used to.

I’ve been home in Metlakatla for over a year now, and I’ll be honest—I’m still not used to the hours of the gas station, the grocery store, or the mini mart. They close early. Sometimes really early. And every now and then, I’ll find myself standing there thinking, Wait… it’s already closed?

Down south, where I lived for a while, things were different. A lot of businesses stayed open late—many of them until 10 or 11 at night. You could decide at the last minute that you needed milk, snacks, or gas, and it was no big deal. You just went and got it.

Up here? You learn quickly that you have to plan ahead.

Now, am I complaining? I’m trying not to. I really am. I’m doing my best to look at the positive side of things. Being from a small town, I understand the hours. I understand staffing challenges. I understand that things move at a different pace—and that’s not always a bad thing.

Small-town life teaches you patience. It teaches you awareness. It teaches you to slow down and think ahead instead of rushing through life on impulse. In many ways, that’s actually a gift.

But still… dadgum.

Every once in a while, that late-night craving hits. Or you realize you forgot one important thing. And that’s when the adjustment really shows itself. No quick fix. No last-minute run. Just you, your thoughts, and the realization that tomorrow will have to do.

Living in a small town isn’t worse—it’s just different. And like most differences in life, it takes time to settle into. I’m getting there. Slowly. One early-closing door at a time.

Dadgum though.

📝 Notes by Alex: Writer’s Block – The Great Shut Down

The Great Shutdown: When Indifference Becomes the Hardest Feeling

It’s been a week. Maybe two. I open my laptop, stare at the blinking cursor on the blank page, and… nothing. The well is dry, folks. Not just dry, but capped with a thick slab of concrete labeled: “YEAH, OKAY, WHATEVER.”

That label. That feeling. It’s what I’m struggling with today, and it’s what brought me here to talk about a very specific kind of writer’s block—the emotional one.

The Shutdown Mechanism

Have you ever been hurt to the point that a part of you just shuts down?

It’s not a dramatic collapse. It’s a subtle, insidious numbness that creeps in after the big wave of pain has passed. You’re not crying on the floor, you’re not raging at the sky. Instead, you’re just existing, gliding through life on a thin sheet of practiced indifference.

When people ask how you are, the default answer is a pleasant, empty, “Fine.” And when something genuinely good or bad happens, the emotional response is the same, muted drone: “Yeah, okay, whatever.”

For me, that feeling is pure poison. I try to be positive, upbeat, and stubbornly hopeful. That’s my brand! That’s how I navigate the world. But some days, holding onto that hope feels like gripping a slippery rope on a sheer cliff face. It’s exhausting.

This emotional shutdown is like a short circuit in my creative wiring. How can I write about joy, pain, wonder, or connection when my internal translator is stuck on that one phrase? I can’t access the genuine emotion I need to pour onto the page. The words feel flat, hollow, and utterly inauthentic.

The Challenge of Positivity

We live in a world that glorifies resilience, strength, and endless hustle. We are told to choose joy, to manifest success, to power through. And while I believe in the importance of a positive outlook, sometimes the effort it takes to maintain it when you’re truly hurting feels like a challenge too big to meet.

It makes me wonder: Is the “Yeah, okay, whatever” feeling a defense mechanism? Is it my exhausted spirit throwing up a white flag, saying, “I can’t afford to feel deeply right now, because feeling deeply might break me again?”

Maybe. But a writer who can’t feel is a mechanic without tools. I need my emotions—the good, the bad, the complicated—to be open and running, even if it makes me vulnerable.

An Open Question

I’m sitting here, pushing through the concrete cap, trying to find the genuine spark of feeling underneath. I’m doing the little things: I put on a good playlist, made a proper coffee, and decided to write about the fact that I can’t write.

It helps a little. Honesty is always a good starting point.

So, here is my question for you, my amazing readers:

Does anyone else struggle with this thought? With the battle between wanting to be upbeat and the overwhelming need to just shut down and protect yourself? How do you push past the emotional “whatever” and reconnect with your genuine, messy, feeling self?

I’m looking for inspiration today. Maybe, by sharing your strategies, you can help me—and others who might be stuck in this same emotional no-man’s-land—find the way back to hope, and back to the page.

Drop a comment below. Let’s talk.

The Long Goodbye

Notes from Alex

About a year ago, I wrote a short story about a journey I’ve come to call The Long Goodbye. The phrase is often used to describe dementia, because it slowly and painfully erodes a person’s memories and personality, leaving loved ones to witness the gradual fading of someone who is still alive. It is, in every sense, a heartbreaking journey—not just for the one walking through it, but for everyone who loves them.

For my family, this has become deeply personal. My father has dementia. Watching the disease touch his heart, his life, his very being, is almost too much to bear at times. There are moments where he looks at us with weariness in his voice and says he is ready to go home. He has told my sister and me this, and he has told his wife the same. Those words carry a weight that cannot be ignored.

In the midst of it all, we’ve found ourselves reminiscing together—about old times, about laughter and love, about people who shaped our family’s story. My Pops often shares memories of my mom, Bobbi, his first wife. They were like two peas in a pod, and I can tell that he misses her deeply. These memories bring him comfort, and in a way, they remind us all of the beauty and richness of the life he has lived.

I share these thoughts not to diminish his relationship with his current wife, but to honor her as well. She has sacrificed greatly to care for my father in this season, and that love and dedication has not gone unnoticed. For that, our family is grateful.

The Long Goodbye is not a journey anyone would choose, but it is one that teaches us to hold onto the good moments tightly, to honor the past, and to walk each day with grace and love for the one we are slowly letting go.


Even in the heaviness of this journey, I am reminded that we are never walking it alone. God meets us in the valleys as surely as He does on the mountaintops, and His love does not fade even when memories do. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16).

That truth gives me comfort—knowing that while my father’s body and mind may be fading, his spirit is being kept in the hands of the One who never forgets. And in that promise, we find strength to endure, love to keep giving, and hope to keep walking this long goodbye with grace.

A New Chapter in Aviation and Life

Back in My Wheelhouse

Over the past few weeks, I’ve stepped into a new role that has placed me right back into the world of Private Jet Aviation. It feels good to be back in my wheelhouse—sales and operations—working with an incredible ops team that truly loves what they do. What makes it even more rewarding is that we are a fully remote team, spread across the country, yet united by our passion for aviation. Different walks of life, different backgrounds, but one shared drive. It shows in the way we work together.

When I came home to Alaska, my heart was set on helping in any way I could. I wanted to contribute, to lend my experience, and to move projects forward. But the reality was harder than expected. Leadership support was missing at key moments, and decisions that needed to be made simply weren’t. It left me confused and, if I’m honest, a little discouraged.

In the end, it became clear that my help wasn’t truly needed in the way I had hoped. That was a difficult realization, and making the decision to move on wasn’t easy. But today, I find myself deeply thankful for this new opportunity and for the people I now get to work alongside.

I still hope the best for the projects happening here in Metlakatla. This is home, and I care about the work being done. But for now, I’m grateful to have found a team and a space where my skills are being put to good use again.

At the end of the day, I see this as another reminder that the journey—whether in aviation, family, or faith—isn’t always a straight line, but every turn has a purpose in shaping where we’re meant to be.

Faith-focused:
“Through it all, I’m reminded that God’s plan often unfolds in ways I don’t expect, but always in ways that prepare me for where I’m meant to be.”

Family-focused:
“It’s another reminder that the work I do isn’t just for me—it’s about creating stability and setting an example for my family, showing them that resilience matters.”

Aviation-focused:
“Much like flying, this journey has had its turbulence and course corrections, but every adjustment keeps me moving toward the horizon where I’m meant to be.”

Becoming a Writer: From Blog to Book


“How Blogging Can Launch Your Writing Journey”

Notes by Alex

Becoming a writer and publishing your first book isn’t some unreachable dream—it’s a very real, achievable goal. And here’s the best part: you don’t have to do it all at once. A blog can serve as your creative testing ground, your accountability partner, and your first audience. It’s where your voice takes shape and where the seeds of a book can begin to grow.

This journey, from concept to creation, unfolds in stages. Each step builds on the last, taking you closer to the moment when you hold your book in your hands.


Step 1: Define Your Purpose and Idea

Every book begins with a “why.” Why do you want to write? Who do you want to reach?

For nonfiction, think about the problem you want to help readers solve. Your blog posts can act as mini-experiments—sharing tips, ideas, or reflections that let you see what resonates.

For fiction, passion is everything. Choose a story you love enough to live with for months (or years). Anchor your characters and plot around a central theme—the heartbeat of your story—that carries it all the way through.


Step 2: Create a Strategic Blog

Think of your blog as both your writer’s portfolio and your workshop.

  • Choose a niche: A focused blog builds trust and attracts the right readers.
  • Pick a platform and name: WordPress, Squarespace, or even Substack work well. Pick a name that’s easy to remember and feels like you.
  • Write in advance: Draft a few posts and an “About Me” page before you launch. Give visitors something to explore right away.
  • Promote consistently: Share your work, connect with readers, and show up regularly. Consistency grows your community.

Step 3: Develop and Outline Your Book

Outlines aren’t about limiting creativity—they’re about giving yourself a roadmap.

  • Structure matters: For nonfiction, create a logical flow that builds chapter by chapter. For fiction, map out your story arc and your characters’ journeys.
  • Use your blog as a testing ground: Write posts that double as book material. Pay attention to what readers respond to—that feedback is golden.

Step 4: Write the First Draft

This is where the real work begins—but also where the magic happens.

  • Set goals: Daily or weekly word counts help the project move forward.
  • Build a routine: Treat writing like an appointment you can’t skip.
  • Silence the inner editor: The first draft is supposed to be messy. Get the words down; polish later.

Step 5: Revise and Edit

A book is truly made in the rewriting.

  • Self-edit first: Tidy up structure, fix pacing, strengthen characters or arguments.
  • Seek feedback: Beta readers and writing groups help you see blind spots.
  • Go professional: A skilled editor sharpens your manuscript to industry standards.

Step 6: Publish and Promote

Now comes the leap—from private project to public book.

  • Choose your path: Traditional publishing means agents and proposals; self-publishing offers more control and faster timelines.
  • Promote through your blog: Share behind-the-scenes posts, teaser chapters, and cover reveals.
  • Engage your readers: Offer freebies, giveaways, or early access to your most loyal subscribers.

Marketing isn’t about shouting—it’s about sharing your story with the people who are already listening.


Final Thoughts

Writing a book is less about talent and more about persistence. When you use a blog as your starting place, you don’t just build an audience—you build momentum. Each post becomes a step closer to the finished manuscript.

Your words matter. Your story matters. And if you commit to the process, one day soon, you’ll get to see your name on the cover of a book.


For me, this process isn’t just theory—it’s real. My own writing journey began with stories from the docks and skies of Southeast Alaska, where I worked around seaplanes as a teenager before eventually flying them myself. Those experiences became the foundation for my first book, a memoir that I’m shaping one post, one reflection at a time.

Blogging gave me the courage to put my words out there and test the waters. Each story I shared—about the rhythms of flight, the wild beauty of Alaska, or the lessons learned in the cockpit—helped me see what resonated with readers. Over time, those small pieces began to connect into a bigger story, one worth turning into a book.

That’s the power of this process: a blog isn’t just practice, it’s preparation. It’s where you discover your voice, gather your readers, and slowly but surely, build the pages of a book that’s uniquely yours.

“Where the Salmon Still Run”

Notes from Alex: Streams of Salmon and Stories of Generations

“A timeless cycle that connects streams, people, and history.”

“There’s something timeless about standing at the mouth of a stream and watching salmon return, as if witnessing history swim right before your eyes.”


The other day, I drove down to two different streams. One held a strong pink salmon run, just beginning to gather momentum, while the other was alive with chum and coho pushing upstream. At the mouths of the streams, schools of salmon shimmered and surged together, filling the water with life. I sat there for a moment, just watching, and found myself pondering the deeper story unfolding before me.

These runs have been happening for centuries—long before I was here, long before any of us. And to see it still going on today, against the odds, feels poetically beautiful. Nature’s persistence has a way of humbling us. The salmon return, generation after generation, as if carrying the heartbeat of this place.

Of course, things have changed. The salmon fisheries for commercial harvest are not what they once were. I can remember stories of the 70s, 80s, and 90s, when the runs were stronger, the harvests larger, and the docks busier. Will it ever return to those days? Probably not—or at least, I don’t know. What I do know is this: a handful of commercial boats, both gillnetters and seiners, still work these waters today. Their efforts provide jobs, income, and a thread of economic impact for the community.

This is a salmon-run community, through and through. Generations of fishermen and women have made their living on these runs, and that tradition continues, even if the scale looks different now. The sight of those salmon pressing upstream reminded me that while times change, the core of this place—its connection to the salmon—remains the same.

It’s more than just a run of fish. It’s history, tradition, and survival, all swimming together in the current.


For me, standing by those streams was more than just an afternoon stop. It was a reminder that I too am part of this cycle, part of this tradition. Even if I’m not on a boat, even if I’m not casting a net, I carry the stories, the memories, and the gratitude for what the salmon represent. Observing their return ties me back to my roots, to the community I belong to, and to the generations before me who lived by these same waters. In that way, the salmon’s journey upstream mirrors my own journey—returning, remembering, and carrying forward what truly matters.


Bitten by the Aviation Bug

How a Seaplane Spark Ignited My Aviation Journey


Some passions sneak up on you quietly. Mine roared in on the whine of propellers and the smell of saltwater spray. In a place where seaplanes are lifelines and the skies are our highways, I didn’t just see airplanes — I saw freedom, adventure, and a world waiting to be explored from above.

At a very early age, I was bitten by the aviation bug. In Southeast Alaska, the only way to get from town to town — and for the most part, this still holds true today — was either by boat or by plane. And around here, seaplanes aren’t just handy, they’re essential.

When I was a kid, my dad worked part-time at the local airport. Sometimes he’d take me along, and that’s where I first laid eyes on the Ellis Airway Grumman Goose. I was amazed by those birds — their graceful lines, their ability to land on both water and land. Back then, our small airport also saw Pan Am, TWA, and the U.S. Coast Guard come through. For a young boy already fascinated by flight, it was pure magic.

I knew, even then, that one day I would become a commercial pilot.

Years passed, but that dream never faded. Then in January 1987, I made it happen. I traveled to a flight school in Northern California with one mission: earn my Private Pilot’s License. I did that — and more. In just seven months, I had also earned my Commercial License, my Instrument Rating, and my Seaplane Rating.

During those months, I literally ate, slept, and breathed aviation. Every day was a deep dive into the world I loved, and each hour in the air only deepened my passion.

My very first flight was in a Cessna 172, and I can still remember the thrill of that moment — the hum of the engine, the lift as the wheels left the ground, the world shrinking below. That flight wasn’t just a beginning; it was the start of a lifelong career in aviation.

And so, the boy who once stood at the edge of a runway watching Grumman Gooses take off, became a pilot himself. The journey had begun.


Decades later, I still feel the same rush every time I step into a cockpit. The boy who once pressed his face against the airport fence, mesmerized by a Grumman Goose, has flown countless hours over some of the most breathtaking landscapes in the world. Aviation didn’t just give me a career — it gave me a way of life. And every time I take off, I’m reminded of that first spark, and the dream it carried me into the sky.

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